SO FRUSTRATED. (I'm not going to make cohesive thoughts here so if you can't follow I apologise.)
Firstly: Why can't they just get their instructions right. The lack of consistency keeps throwing everybody off. You can't tell us the deadline is on one day and then a few hours later tell us it's been shifted forward. It's fine if you do it once, but don't keep doing it??
Secondly: Hi, I'm Lindsay. Your group member. Remember me? Am I so insignificant that I'm not needed. Like wtf. I understand why you'd be annoyed with me, because I would be too (and tbh I am). But can you at least include me in your group discussions and decisions and not just tell me after you've discussed it amongst yourselves. Wtf.
Thirdly: What is up with all the persecution seriously. If you wanna hate on my faith then do it on your own time, stop spitting your venomous words at the class. For goodness sake no one wants to listen to your philosophical hour-long rants about how religion is cruel and the life is too complicated and we're too young to understand anything yet we need to have answers because we're already 19. OKAY I HAVE AN OPINION ALRIGHT WHY IS THAT WRONG. Oh right because I'm a christian, therefore my opinions are obviously tainted by religious biasness and I'm blinded by brainswashed faith OKAY SORRY FOR THAT.
(Wow print journ has trained me so well that I keep trying to make sure my paragraphs in this post flow well. Omg who cares if it flows it's a blog no one gives a shit.)
Aside from school of course there's every other aspect in my life, which I will not go into because I don't have time to worry about them coz everything is about school all day, everyday. It's so funny when people try to cheer me up by reminding me that the holidays are coming. Ha ha ha that makes no difference at all. It just means that the work I'd be doing in school I'm now doing at home/Starbucks/probably in still school.
This semester has probably been the lowest time of my life since the sec 3-sec 4 fiasco. All my electives are giving me grief. You'd think that studying things that you chose to do would make you like school but on the contrary, I'm so unhappy and frustrated almost everyday. I'm struggling to keep my head out of the water, let alone stay afloat.
I stayed up late doing Print Journ last night, so I only slept at 3:30am. I asked my friends to give me a wake up call at 7:30am.
Note: If you're expecting a wake up call, TURN YOUR RINGER ON.
I woke up at 9:40am to 57 missed calls and 74 text messages. Quite a feat I would say.
God please help me I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive this semester.
"I don't hate school, I'm just really tired of it."
- Me two nights ago.
I take that back.
Thursday, 5 December 2013
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
How Tolkien and Peter Jackson changed my life 11 years ago
So I was casually flipping through Tumblr on my phone when I came across this post:
 |
| The first girl is Katie Jackson, Peter Jackson's daughter. The second girl is Alexandra Austin, Sean Austin's daughter. Both appeared in the LOTR movies. Katie in Fellowship of the Ring, Alexandra in Return of the King. |
These girls are around my age, both being 17. Then it occurred to me, that these pictures perfectly reflect my entire growth process since I was a child.
11 years ago, I sat in the theatre with my mom watching the opening scenes of The Two Towers, my little heart filled with excitement and trepidation at the thought of an adventure much greater than my 8 year old self. I even remember the man in my row who got up and left midway through the movie and never came back (the only explanation for that I conclude, is that there was a medical emergency coz why else would you leave LOTR). When Return of the King premiered the following year, I was smitten.
By the time I left primary school, I'd written my own LOTR book, learnt Elvish, studied the history of Middle Earth, memorised the calligraphy of the One Ring inscription, read the Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R.Tolkien's biography, and a number of Tolkien's other works. Now, at 19 years of age, my love for Middle Earth has not been assuaged. No matter how many times I watch the movies (over 1000 times, I counted. Even broke a couple VCDs coz I watched them so much), I learn something new about it. Sometimes I even learn something new about myself.
People ask why I love Lord of the Rings so much. There's no one answer to that. How do I explain the better portion of my life? My childhood, my entire teenage life? How do I tell them that this "movie", this "book", has helped shaped me into who I am? I can't. I can only say that I do, and hope that one of my babbling rants may cover just the top of that very titanic iceberg.
I may grow out of it, I may not. Who knows? In 50 years when I look back I may laugh in embarrassment, or I may glow with pride at my unwavering loyalty. For now I will continue to wait in gargantuan anticipation for The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug to premiere in Singapore, and attempt to bridle the unadulterated exhilaration that comes with seeing Tolkien's work on the big screen.
And also Orlando Bloom as Legolas again. OMG.
 |
| 2001 |
 |
| 2013 |
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Philosophy is a bad class to take
Life is a gift
the tag cut
off
and the
receipt
thrown away
Life is a box of chocolates
100% dark
cocoa
with toffee
and nougat
and that
stuff in Crush
Life is precious
poor girl
in a bad home
wants to
leave
but can't
but can't
Life is what you make it out to be
sometimes
the light
at the end
of the tunnel
is a train headed your way
is a train headed your way
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
"Faithless is he who says farewell when the road darkens." - JRR Tolkien
Whenever I'm super full, I still try to finish the food that's on my plate.
When I couldn't figure out how to play the chorus of Augustana's Boston on the piano, I wouldn't stop practising till I got it.
When the world tells me my God has failed, I remember that Jesus has already overcome it.
Even though I am definitely no saint, I don't believe in giving up.
Sure, most of the time when we give up on something, there isn't much to lose - not tangibly that is. But intangibly?
There's a great deal to lose.
"[We] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." - Romans 5: 3-5
Even in secular teachings, we can understand that suffering produces character. Most of the people we see with the best, rock-solid characters have gone through great tribulations in life. These are the people who truly understand, among countless other things, the meaning of strength, forgiveness, and hope. Character molded through suffering is probably the longest lasting and most life-changing. Suffering leads us to tap into the emotional depths of our being that is normally untouched. When the very core of our soul is shaken, the effort in rectification is almost monumental. But in these dark moments of our lives, the light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel becomes all the more emphasised - the darker a place is, the brighter a light is. This light has a name, and it is Hope.
Hope moves people to do radical things - it creates revolutionaries that cripple governments, gives courage to the lost. Hope takes fear head on and chases it out, baton and axe in hand; a roaring lion sprinting after its prey.
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12
It is not an easy thing to remain faithful, especially when situations get tough. I'd like to encourage anyone who's reading this (it's probably just me sadly reading myself lol) never to give up when things get rough. Life's tests are your chance to grab it (by the balls) and tell it that you aren't gonna take shit. Are you going to work through the difficult, convoluted things, or are you going to wave the white flag and let life eat you alive? Are you going to leave when the the road gets dark, or are you going to light a flame and keep trucking on till you see that glimmer of sunlight?
What kind of person are you going to be?
When I couldn't figure out how to play the chorus of Augustana's Boston on the piano, I wouldn't stop practising till I got it.
When the world tells me my God has failed, I remember that Jesus has already overcome it.
Even though I am definitely no saint, I don't believe in giving up.
Sure, most of the time when we give up on something, there isn't much to lose - not tangibly that is. But intangibly?
There's a great deal to lose.
"[We] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." - Romans 5: 3-5
Even in secular teachings, we can understand that suffering produces character. Most of the people we see with the best, rock-solid characters have gone through great tribulations in life. These are the people who truly understand, among countless other things, the meaning of strength, forgiveness, and hope. Character molded through suffering is probably the longest lasting and most life-changing. Suffering leads us to tap into the emotional depths of our being that is normally untouched. When the very core of our soul is shaken, the effort in rectification is almost monumental. But in these dark moments of our lives, the light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel becomes all the more emphasised - the darker a place is, the brighter a light is. This light has a name, and it is Hope.
Hope moves people to do radical things - it creates revolutionaries that cripple governments, gives courage to the lost. Hope takes fear head on and chases it out, baton and axe in hand; a roaring lion sprinting after its prey.
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12
It is not an easy thing to remain faithful, especially when situations get tough. I'd like to encourage anyone who's reading this (it's probably just me sadly reading myself lol) never to give up when things get rough. Life's tests are your chance to grab it (by the balls) and tell it that you aren't gonna take shit. Are you going to work through the difficult, convoluted things, or are you going to wave the white flag and let life eat you alive? Are you going to leave when the the road gets dark, or are you going to light a flame and keep trucking on till you see that glimmer of sunlight?
What kind of person are you going to be?
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
Mississippi
Mississippi is a US State
a US state
an us state
I don't like Mississippi
I know how to get there
but I don't want to
There's no place like it
no experience like it
there's nothing, none
Mississipi is a US State
a US state
an us state
I don't want to get to Mississippi.
No, not even near it.
But I seem to be.
a US state
an us state
I don't like Mississippi
I know how to get there
but I don't want to
There's no place like it
no experience like it
there's nothing, none
Mississipi is a US State
a US state
an us state
I don't want to get to Mississippi.
No, not even near it.
But I seem to be.
Friday, 1 November 2013
Enervation, appreciation and poetry
I honestly feel like I have no inspiration right now.
I've lost the zeal to do anything for school, and it's so ridiculous. I know how much work I have to do but I'm too afraid to begin, because I don't want to get sucked back into that black abyss of stress. The last time that happened I got sick and I'm pretty sure I've missed this month's period because of it (I never miss my periods). But then I recall the intense lacklustre I felt in secondary school and that probably scares me more. There's nothing more frightening than the thought of wasting one's life away on banal enervation.
In other news, Jed and I haven't been texting much the past few weeks. I've noticed that over the months we've texted less and less frequently. It isn't anything to worry about - in fact I think it's quite healthy. There's no sickening attachment where either party feels the unremitting need to text 24/7. I have to admit, though, that there came a point in time where I felt that he was enjoying our lack of conversation a tad bit too much. BUT I have come to realise that this is good for our relationship. The space allows us to miss each other, to wonder what the other is doing, to actually have things to share when we finally do meet at the end of each week. I refuse to be a victim of the Technological Age and allow my romance to die. After all, aren't I the one constantly complaining about how I wished my love story was like some epic movie? In NONE of the tech-savvy modern day love stories I've come across are the romances epic.
Creative Writing class yesterday went a lot better than expected. I was terrified of sharing my poem as it was incredibly personal; in it I described my image insecurities, and how I found wholeness in God. As it turned out, majority - if not all - of the poems were as or more personal than mine, which was really heartwarming. During the critique round, many of my classmates wondered if mine was a religious or religiously driven poem, and at the end of it my lecturer asked if that's what it was.
My response: Yes, it is about my faith.
There's been a bit of debate in that particular class about the topic of religion, and what good discussion of religion doesn't come with a fair amount of tension. There seems to be a suggestion that since faith doesn't call for proof, it should not be accepted, and that anyone who does have faith, especially in a spiritual being or a "God", should be labeled "religious". I reject the notion that Christians (or anyone of staunch faith for that matter) should be typecast as arrogant, opinionated religious zealots. I reject the idea that anyone with faith AT ALL should be looked upon as silly, naive or ignorant. There are many people who have just as much conviction in their beliefs and to conveniently blame such fervour on religion, to me, is what's ignorant.
Do not confuse "religion" with "faith". I have faith that I will wake up tomorrow morning, have breakfast, and go to Marina Barrage for my school's Dragonboat Regatta. That doesn't necessarily mean I believe that Jesus will come back to earth and the End Times will begin. Religion is nothing without faith, because what religion can thrive without people who believe? Faith is the very core of everything that we believe in. To live without faith is to live without hope, and to live without hope is to not live at all. So I feel sorry for you without faith.
Anyway, I've been thinking about dedicating my next Poetry assignment to Bernie, my niece. She really is the most beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on. She's so small, so precious, and even though she cries so much she brings more joy than she could ever imagine. I never knew I could love someone so much till she came into the world, and I thought I should write something for her. I haven't come up with much, just the draft:
My darling, my darling
Cherubim praise your beauty
radiant joy permeating
like sunbeams in the night
My darling, my darling
Love like an ocean
waves never ceasing
the seabed beyond touch
My darling, my darling
Warrior armed with Hope
breastplate of Courage
staff of Wisdom
My darling, my darling
Infancy so delicate a dawn
youth as the noonday sky
mature like the waning of the sun
Well, looks like I've found my inspiration. (:
I've lost the zeal to do anything for school, and it's so ridiculous. I know how much work I have to do but I'm too afraid to begin, because I don't want to get sucked back into that black abyss of stress. The last time that happened I got sick and I'm pretty sure I've missed this month's period because of it (I never miss my periods). But then I recall the intense lacklustre I felt in secondary school and that probably scares me more. There's nothing more frightening than the thought of wasting one's life away on banal enervation.
In other news, Jed and I haven't been texting much the past few weeks. I've noticed that over the months we've texted less and less frequently. It isn't anything to worry about - in fact I think it's quite healthy. There's no sickening attachment where either party feels the unremitting need to text 24/7. I have to admit, though, that there came a point in time where I felt that he was enjoying our lack of conversation a tad bit too much. BUT I have come to realise that this is good for our relationship. The space allows us to miss each other, to wonder what the other is doing, to actually have things to share when we finally do meet at the end of each week. I refuse to be a victim of the Technological Age and allow my romance to die. After all, aren't I the one constantly complaining about how I wished my love story was like some epic movie? In NONE of the tech-savvy modern day love stories I've come across are the romances epic.
Creative Writing class yesterday went a lot better than expected. I was terrified of sharing my poem as it was incredibly personal; in it I described my image insecurities, and how I found wholeness in God. As it turned out, majority - if not all - of the poems were as or more personal than mine, which was really heartwarming. During the critique round, many of my classmates wondered if mine was a religious or religiously driven poem, and at the end of it my lecturer asked if that's what it was.
My response: Yes, it is about my faith.
There's been a bit of debate in that particular class about the topic of religion, and what good discussion of religion doesn't come with a fair amount of tension. There seems to be a suggestion that since faith doesn't call for proof, it should not be accepted, and that anyone who does have faith, especially in a spiritual being or a "God", should be labeled "religious". I reject the notion that Christians (or anyone of staunch faith for that matter) should be typecast as arrogant, opinionated religious zealots. I reject the idea that anyone with faith AT ALL should be looked upon as silly, naive or ignorant. There are many people who have just as much conviction in their beliefs and to conveniently blame such fervour on religion, to me, is what's ignorant.
Do not confuse "religion" with "faith". I have faith that I will wake up tomorrow morning, have breakfast, and go to Marina Barrage for my school's Dragonboat Regatta. That doesn't necessarily mean I believe that Jesus will come back to earth and the End Times will begin. Religion is nothing without faith, because what religion can thrive without people who believe? Faith is the very core of everything that we believe in. To live without faith is to live without hope, and to live without hope is to not live at all. So I feel sorry for you without faith.
Anyway, I've been thinking about dedicating my next Poetry assignment to Bernie, my niece. She really is the most beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on. She's so small, so precious, and even though she cries so much she brings more joy than she could ever imagine. I never knew I could love someone so much till she came into the world, and I thought I should write something for her. I haven't come up with much, just the draft:
My darling, my darling
Cherubim praise your beauty
radiant joy permeating
like sunbeams in the night
My darling, my darling
Love like an ocean
waves never ceasing
the seabed beyond touch
My darling, my darling
Warrior armed with Hope
breastplate of Courage
staff of Wisdom
My darling, my darling
Infancy so delicate a dawn
youth as the noonday sky
mature like the waning of the sun
 |
| Kuku loves you so, so, so much my darling Bernedette. You bring me happiness I've never before this known. I'm so glad God has blessed our family with you. I can't wait to see you grow up. <3 |
Well, looks like I've found my inspiration. (:
Saturday, 26 October 2013
The Break-Up
The news of today is that Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have separated. Apparently, they've already been separated for months - he was living in NYC doing a play, she stayed in LA - but have recently decided to formalise the separation. The official released statement said:
"Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family."
As much as I've complained over the years that I've loved Orli much longer than Miranda has even known him (it's true), never ever did I want them to get a divorce. They seemed genuinely happy together, and when Flynn was born it was the cutest thing ever (everyone remember the Kerr-Bloom! shirt?). Even though the quote above says it's the end, the big D word hasn't come up in any of the articles I've come across. Hopefully this means they think there's still a chance for them to work things out.
Whatever comes of it, I wish them both every happiness.
Fine, more happiness to Orli than Miranda; I'm bias, I can't help it.
Genesis
For the sake of honing my writing skills and keeping up with the times, I've decided to revive a blog. Hopefully it won't be like my primary/secondary school blogs which were filled with incredibly unexciting recounts of a tiresome pubescence.
So... this really is just a very short hello. Also, here's a picture of me in China so that people know who to sue for defamation or slander in the future.
(Just kidding, obviously.)
So... this really is just a very short hello. Also, here's a picture of me in China so that people know who to sue for defamation or slander in the future.
(Just kidding, obviously.)
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